Weightism weighs us down

My name is Martha Hartney and I’m a board member for Boulder Youth Body Alliance. I’m also a lawyer so I think about the many efforts the organization undertakes in legal terms.

One issue that shows up repeatedly is the fact that weight (or shape) continues to be an allowable factor from which to discriminate against people throughout the nation. “Weightism,” the systematic exclusion of people with body shapes that are different than “the norm” is one of the few remaining reasons people can be discriminated against.

I was drawn to working with Boulder Youth Body Alliance because its core value is that all people are valuable, regardless of body shape, and that the best way to enjoy our bodies is not through a constant battle with one’s body shape, but to eat intuitively and to move in ways that make us happy and joyful.

In short, the best way to be healthy is to ENJOY YOUR BODY as it is right now, to nourish it with good foods by listening to its deep knowing of what it needs, to let ourselves play unapologetically, and move without worry about what others might think.

What a world it would be if we could all do this! But weightism weighs us all down. Weightism hurts. It hurts the kids at school when they’re called names for being shaped differently than others. It hurts men and women of all ages who have been told that they’re not good enough. Heard often enough, even the toughest among us may stop aiming as high as we might for fear of criticism and bullying. And, it hurts the people who do it. We don’t think much about the self-loathing that people who tease and bully might feel when they bully. But, that too, is a cost in life-energy.

Recently, peer leaders of Boulder Youth Body Alliance spoke eloquently before the Boulder Valley School Board, asking them to add physical appearance to the anti-discrimination policy. This group of remarkable youth, who have learned to advocate convincingly for change, was asked for and received, a significant change to the school district’s anti-discrimination policy, placing “physical characteristics” alongside race and gender as factors that cannot be discriminated against among employees or students.

The peer educators of Boulder Youth Body Alliance are busy reclaiming the life energy and power of all youth, teaching other teens one-by-one how to love who they are and nurture themselves. And I for one, want to be someone who helps them do that. We need every young person to be actively engaged in life, in politics, in commerce, in steering our world toward being the peaceful, abundant place we had hoped for our children. And that starts with each of us, loving who we are and valuing what we have to give the world, regardless of the package we come in.

We would love to hear from you! What do you think this change in policy will mean to the youth of Boulder County?

A Bored Board? Never with Boulder Youth Body Alliance!

By Nia Wassink, Board Chair

My journey to Boulder Youth Body Alliance is not unlike many others.  I grew up with the typical, American body hatred that is instilled in most of us as children. I dealt with the shame and humiliation for a body that was non-normative. Unlike many, I was lucky enough to have a family and friends who loved other aspects of me that I used to overcome or at least ignore the hatred when I could.

While working for another nonprofit, Carmen and I were matched up to look at some possible collaboration. Her charisma and truly impactful work drew me in. What started as a simple work-related meeting in January, has become a friendship and immensely important volunteer position for me.

When I became the Board Chair in August of this year, I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me. Our group of Board members not only needs to chart a course for the agency, but also pick up the oars and get us there. We know that the programs are amazing.  Every time that Carmen shares a story from the youth, we get energized. It’s all the business stuff, behind the scenes, that could come between where we are now and the goals we’ve set for making a difference for youth in our community.

Recently, we sat at our Board retreat, discussing some big topics about our organization and where we are headed. As I worked to facilitate these discussions, I was impressed with the varied opinions around the room, each of them valuable and with the agency’s absolute best interests in mind. While we wrestled with some issues, all were met with enthusiasm, productive discourse, and the imperative that we better this agency and the issue it addresses.

One quote that was shared that has really stuck with me is that Boulder Youth Body Alliance gives youth “another option.” It doesn’t have to be body hatred, disorded eating, or worse. We can actually love ourselves, whatever size that may be. Refocusing on health instead of size is a HUGE social change that we are seeing starting to take root here in Boulder. We know the battle will not be easy, but with Carmen, these amazing youth, and help from the Board, we can affect real change.

Meet Vanessa K!

I remember my mom’s smooth voice cascading over my pillow, my worn out eyes working to stay open. I was captivated by her lullabies and they were the only remedies for coaxing me into my bed after a day at the pool toasted by the sun. Like my mom, I have alwayssang. I sing when I’m happy, I sing when I am excited, I sing when I am sad. But for a period of my life my song became dark and ominous. Its story became one of a girl who had completely lost her place. She was consumed by a skewed perception and couldn’t see past her appearance.

The song this girl sang wasn’t mine. It leaked out of my pores without me knowing it, reminding me that I was living in a abyss of self hate. I didn’t even recognize my own voice and I lost track of the music when it started to be about a girl I didn’t recognize anymore. The rhythm of my song sped up and I could never achieve the greatness I saw in my head. I though if I could only reach that next frontier, I would stop putting my body through the wringer and be happy with myself. But my song became one of addiction and it became too loud to ignore.

I finally heard the dangerous voice of my body and realized that I had lost sight of what I loved to do for an unattainable goal. I had to reprioritize my life and face the haunting cacophony of noise that was my insecurities.

Singing will always be a part of my life. I now realize that I dictate my own life and write my own soundtrack. I write poetry and music as a form of catharsis and when the past insecurities pry at me, I use them as inspiration and channel them into music and writing.

I write songs about future journeys and adventures that this phenomenal body of mine will carry me to!

Meet Vanessa J!

My name is Vanessa Jacks and I’ve been a BYBA peer educator for almost 2 years now. Since the beginning of high school I have found that I have a tendency to get sucked in to my own head and no matter what, I have no way to block out my internal dialogue. Society has trained us to believe we are required to dislike our appearances and I was not lucky enough to be left out of this infectious trend. It wasn’t until I joined Boulder Youth Body Alliance at the beginning of my Junior year that I realized there is a different option besides self hate, and it was in fact possible to break out of this unhealthy societal mold and just be okay with myself in my entirety, “imperfections” and all.

Now obviously, this is much MUCH easier said than done, so in order to find my own path to self acceptance, I had to find something that dragged me out of my mind, even if, on some days, it was kicking and screaming. I have always been able to find my peace in Nature, and I noticed that while all of my destructive thoughts were occuring, I was always couped up in my room, blinds closed, with no fresh air. I find that when I’m out listening to the breeze, dipping my feet in a cold creek, or wandering through the trees, I’m too in awe of this incredible planet to even have room in my brain for any negative thoughts at all. In a world of endless possibilities, so much is lost when you’re too consumed with negativity to experience the beauty around you. If humans come from this incredible Earth, then how is it possible that each and every one of us doesn’t encompass all of that beauty within ourselves? Everyone has something that brings them true happiness, it’s just about finding the movement, scenario, or hobby in your life that makes you see the bigger picture, and not just the narrow minded societal conformist in your head that reminds you of all of your faults. It is a constant battle against the media and other things that bombard us all the time, but self-love is about taking time to appreciate the small beauties around us and stop the battles against our own beautiful bodies!